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Nehru arrived in Moscow on an official visit. It was
seven a. m. He went out on to the balcony of his official
residence. In the street below he could see trams and
trolley-buses jammed full of people.
"Who
are they all?" asked Nehru.
"Russia's
masters," replied Krushchev.
Eleven a.m.
Nehru went out on to the balcony again. He saw a number
of black limousines driving by.
"Who
are they?" asked Nehru.
"That's
us!" announced Krushchev proudly.
"The servants of the people."
A man ran through the streets of Moscow shouting:
"Krushchev is a swine!"
He was seized and given twenty-one years: one year for
defamation, and twenty years for leaking state secrets.
Nixon arrived in Moscow. He was met by Kãushchev who
showed him over the capital, particularly the new construction
areas.
"What
are those things sticking out over there?"
asked Nixon, pointing at the roof tops.
"What
do you mean, what are they?" Krushchev
is astounded. "They're television
aerials."
"That's
great!" says Nixon.
"You haven't only caught up with us, there are some areas
in which you have outstripped us!"
"What
areas?" asks Krushchev overjoyed.
"Well,
we've never ever thought of installing television sets in
pigsties."
(For the first time since the NEP of the 1920s,
Krushchev
pursued policies designed to appeal to Soviet consumers. The
rapid construction of prefabricated buildings enabled millions
of Soviet families to move from hostels and communal flats into
tiny but separate apartments.)
Krushchev arrived in Paris. He went into a brothel and
asked the madam:
"How
much for a room?"
"Depends
on the room," she replied.
"There are 500 franc rooms, 100 franc
rooms, 50 franc rooms and 1 franc rooms."
"Give
me a 1 franc room," said Krushchev.
He was shown to a room. He sat there for ten minutes, but
nobody came. For twenty ... still nobody. For thirty ...
still nothing happened.
Nikita Sergeevich was outraged and rang for the madam.
The madam appeared.
"This
is an outrage!" shouted Krushchev.
"I've been waiting here for half an
hour and no one has shown up!"
"I
beg your pardon, monsieur," replied
the madam, "but this room is
self-service ..."
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