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"So that's what you're like, Grandpa Lenin!"

 

 
Vladimir Ilich Lenin was making a typically fiery speech. Looking up at him was a small Jew.
`Excuse me, Comrade Lenin, can I ask a question?' asked the little Jew.
`Of course, Comrade! Of course!' replied Vladimir Ilich.
`I don't suppose you could tell where you got such a fine waistcoat?'
`This one?'
Vladimir Ilich shoved his left thumb under his armpit, and flung his right arm forward in the direction of Finland:
`There!'
 
 
Why wasn't Lenin a scientist?
If he was, he would test communism on mice first.
 
 
A historic speech!
It was after work one evening. Yakov Mikhailovich Sverdlov dropped in to Vladimir Ilich Lenin's study.
`Vladimir I1ich, why don't we crack a bottle together?' said
Sverdlov.
`No, no and again no!' said Lenin. `Absolutely not.'
`Come, Vladimir Ilich! Just one between the two of us ...last time we cracked two bottles between three and nothing very terrible happened.'
`I like your "nothing happened"! You and Dzerzhinsky went off home to bed, whereas I climbed up on the roof of an armoured car and spouted such a load of bullshit ...'
 
(On 16 April 1917, on his return from exile in Switzerland, Lenin made an impromptu speech from the roof of an armoured car outside the Finland Station in Petrograd. Sverdlov and Dzerzhinsky were Lenin's comrades in arms.)
 

 
 
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