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"So that's what you're like, Grandpa Lenin!"

 

 
Soviet furniture industry introduced a new model of bed - 'Communist size'. It easily fits three and has a sub-title 'Lenin is always with you'.
 
 
A perfume factory has developed a new scent called "Eau de Lénine".
 
(The literal translation of this is 'Lenin's stream'. One could also perhaps, translate it 'Lenin's piss' ...)
 
 
A crew of a Soviet cargo ship was taken hostage by pirate-cannibals, and they are getting ready to cook the sailors. The captain asks,
- Dear comrades cannibals, did you ever have collectivization>
- No!
- Did you ever have any personality cult?
- No!
- Did you ever have to celebrate a Lenin anniversary?
- No!
- Well, then I really do not understand WHAT made you so brutal...
 
 
A Soviet man looks at a poster saying 'Lenin's dead, but his ideas are alive!' and says, 'I wish it was the other way around..'
 
 
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